spirituality – MAXIMA VEGA

The Defense Without the Drain

The push-pull of living in a world where everyone’s at war within themselves

When everyone you meet out in this world, state of madness is like a ticking time bomb. Too much needed to be dealt with on the inside. Too much on the inside have yet to be touched. So they hold their breath and not make a sound and they bleed. They bleed everywhere and on everyone because they cannot face themselves. It’s too hard for them. Too hard to face dead on. Mission impossible. Mission incomplete. Abort the fucking mission now.

Their heart is bleeding all the time. In turn, they act erratically, they act impulsively. They can’t stop the bleeding so they look for someone to bleed upon. And if that someone can’t stop the bleeding, if that someone won’t coddle them, they look and search elsewhere to another madness. Continuing down the same maze, yet still lost. Still lost in what they couldn’t find, because they don’t even know what to look for or what they’re searching for.

Lost and confused because the journey inward has yet to be taken. The journey inward is too long of a journey. Deflect, dismiss, denounce it. No need to look there. So now I show up in the world like a ticking time bomb because I refuse. Refuse to look deeper, refuse to challenge the status quo appearing into my reality. So I take it out, take it out on others. Bestow my pain upon another, like a TV projection screen. Projected upon another that seems more believable, because then people would be convinced that you are not miserable as the way you feel.

God forbid someone actually sees what’s really going on. God forbid that someone can see into me as such. Darvo! Deny, Attack, Reverse the victim and offender so I can keep my fake facade believable. So that I may save myself even if I betray another. Even if that cost me the pain of another. A suitable sacrifice hmmm. Is it victory or is it cowardice disguised and cloaked as victory?

If any victory. A victory short-lived. A short smirk, a short smile and hooray, and yet slowly back into the gut wrenching feeling of misery. An image of victory while you constantly stack the burdens of guilt, of shame to carry along with you. That’s heavy. That’s deep. That’s a load to carry. That’s a cut that burns. But it doesn’t burn away the pain. Only for a moment, but the moment never lasts that long. So you search for another moment.

Is that how you rationalize your power? Are you really the defendant or is it I? To parade power as if power equates to loud and obnoxious. Go ahead. Tell the lie. Lie to yourself. Be the disservice to yourself. You’re hurting no one else, but yourself.

To defend the wrongfully accused without the drain. One must live and embody their truth. You cannot sit here and lie to yourself. You cannot be confused, torn, and double minded. A person lying to themselves is a person no good for no one. Because when the epicenter of the situation of the concern was built on a lie, then everything else attached is also a lie by default.

Long behold the farce. We found it. When we recognize the farce in the complexity we can identify the energy drain. When we find and spot the lie, that is when we find the cause of destruction, the drain so to speak. Alongside that, we can find everything and anything that is attached to that kind of destruction.

That’s also interchangeably to the point of defense. When we pinpoint this spot, this epicenter. Then can we choose to detangle ourselves from the situation. That’s when we find the way out. The way out to peace in one piece. Let them believe the power was in their hands.

When truly the power was always in yours. You just took the time to unravel yourselves quietly or perhaps swiftly. Calling back all the remnants of you that has been stolen. Everything will disintegrate without the core energy presence, you.

No longer feeding into the energy, into the lie, into the chaos that doesn’t have an outlet, therefore creating destruction in all its path. Only to stumble upon your true path.

These are the thieves living among us. And there is no honor amongst thieves. Leave the thieves where they may.

That is defense without the drain attached.

If it’s Meant to be, It will be.

How sometimes we get in our own way too often

As spirituality starts to become a word trend, it is crucial to have the power of discernment to see and recognize what is real from what is fake and fraudulent. Too many people follow trends just to fit in without properly meeting themselves first.

Why? Because it is easy to blend. Because it is easy to skip the important steps when we perceive that nobody is looking. Well, someone’s always watching. The universe is always watching. You cannot lie about or pretend an energy signature or a frequency.

Perhaps you may be able to bypass for a short period of time. But it cannot last longer than that. You cannot hold that energy and frequency for the long term. Eventually, the truth will be seen, will be exposed. No matter what. Because truth transcends.

So be mindful of those who use spirituality as a camouflage to open doors they have yet to be permitted in. That they have yet to meet these rites of passage. The soul has yet to unlock the higher parts of self.

On a smaller scale, we may use spiritual language to cloak and bypass the inner work and shadow work necessary. We use this language to avoid the truth of ourselves.

In the spiritual community, you may hear people say, “If it’s meant to be, it will be.” But some may use that phrase to bypass the work necessary to manifest what they seek or to camouflage what they want to keep hidden—what is really going on underneath.

To understand spirituality and to understand universal law, you must first understand you are the co-creator. You are creating your own reality, your own universe with the universe. People misunderstand and misinterpret “attracting their desires” and “manifesting” as meaning thinking it, wishing it, and doing nothing to have it.

All these phrases people toss around—“I don’t chase, I attract,” or “If it’s meant to be, it’ll be”—can be used to spiritually bypass the work, and lead to a streak of laziness. Yet people wonder why their desires do not come in.

Because you are literally avoiding doing the work to reap what you desire. You are skipping important steps. When I say work, this is in terms of energy, which can look like many different things depending on what you are seeking to manifest.

The question you should ask yourself is, “Am I putting forth any energy toward what I am desiring?”

You must make effort and put energy toward your desires. That’s when the universe will meet you halfway. To only wish and do nothing is not manifesting, it is not attracting, no matter how much you tell yourself that.

In doing so, you are actually disabling your manifestation. You must put forth energy and effort for your manifestation to build with the universe. Sometimes that effort is working on embodiment—embodying that energy, embodying the person that receives what you seek. That takes internal effort—inner work—to achieve that.

And to be clear embodiment is not copying. You cannot copy someone and bypass that as embodiment. Essence and energy cannot be duplicated, replicated, or copy. You must harness your own power and energy to match the energy you seek to align to.

What is currently blocking you from what you seek to manifest? What energy, effort, or next steps shall you put forth to meet that manifestation? To close the gap as much as possible with the universe as a co-creator.

Once you close the gap as much as possible, and did your part—the work necessary toward your manifestation—only then can you say, “If it’s meant to be, it shall be.”

This is when you have put forth your intention fully into the universe, and it’s time for the universe to take the lead in the manifestation. This is your point of surrender. To allow the natural energy to flow. To allow the universe to work its magic.

After all these points are covered, only then can you truly say, “If it’s meant to be, it shall be.”

The Layers of You

Full Moon & Mercury Retrograde Edition: Peeling Back The Layers & Looking Back to Leap Forward

The human race is a complex and a mutlifaceted form of energy, of matter. There are many parts that makes us the same as the person next to us, but there are also many parts that makes us different, makes us unique, makes us an individual. But why is there an underlying obsession of needing others to be so similar and familiar to us, in order for us to feel like we belong, to feel accepted, to feel comfortable. That obsession and that push to make people be more like us. That need to be more agreeable. That need and that desire to feel comfortable will turn to be your own mental prison that is formed within your mind and within your physical realm. Because you will constantly chase the thing, the person, the environment that makes you feel comfortable. Keep in mind, comfort is not a bad thing, it is only something that works against us when we are seeking comfort, to avoid the problems of self and taking that initiative to face what’s really beneath the surface. And this in turn will keep yourself feeling small, when we don’t have that outlet or that room to expand, to explore, to grow. We create our own suffering. And suffering of any form is the beginning of any dis-ease. The prolonging of dis-ease will lead to external manifestations that may take in many forms.

And when we peel back the layers, the layers of you. There is more beneath the surface. There is more beyond what we are seeing. So why the need to categorize the few things that we see that makes up a person? Why can’t these few things just be those things and just exist, why shall we make up the story for a person, concluding on things we know nothing about. There is only a small percentage of the brain that the human race use on a daily basis. And the rest of it, our brains fill in the blanks with junk information. That is the part where we, as humans fall short. The need to understand what we don’t understand. We overlook so much because either our brains don’t have the capacity or us humans are short on time. Doing what we do best, rushing the process. So the brain does its thing, sometimes without our knowledge and our conscious effort until we really sit with ourselves and take the time for self-reflection.

Many of us go through life and experience life without revealing all of our layers, all of our parts that makes us who we are. Some may share these layers of themselves to one, some to a few, and some to no one their entire existence. Then there are the rare that can show all parts when necessary. There is no wrong or right way to live your life, it is all just choice and all valid choices base upon one’s preference. No way of life should form judgements. But that is a bad habit of us humans, to form judgements without proper inquiry.

So before we make a judgement call to say someone or something is good or bad, evil or righteous is not as plain or simple as that may seem. We may say those things or refer people, places, or things in such terms because again our brain is trying to compress and compact information as much as we can, to get the important information across. From my understanding, people are not inherently born good or bad, righteous or evil. We all were once pure of form, pure in energy when we were born. It is of the the choices we make becomes of us. So if we are not proud of our choices and the choices we make, and if we cannot overcome our challenges and/or consequences, this may lead for one to feel they are a bad person, and in turn become a bad person because their belief deemed themselves unworthy of being good because they’ve made bad judgements and poor decisions that they have yet to rectify within themselves. So they carry it with them, in turn may use it as a weapon against another.

When we forget about good versus evil and we peel back the layers, what we will find in its core, is our operating system. What is running the show to cause such behaviors or actions? We will find, it is either that we are operating in a place of love or we are operating in a place of fear. Once we define that, it will be shown how this mode of operating is expressed through our layers and through our layers of self. That is in turn outwardly expressed through our behaviors, actions, and choices. Think of a toddler going through a temper tantrum and throwing things in the room. That toddler is operating in fear, expressing their emotions out of fear, because they feel that their sense of security and safety is jeopardize for not getting their needs met or they feel that they are not being heard.

The general world operate mostly on the surface layer of self and may feel comfortable showing the first few layers of themselves that they feel would be socially acceptable. So us humans will continue to only show and operate in certain layers of self that we deem as acceptable to the general world and the general public. So what is the issue in operating in the world this way, if any?

When we only show up and operate in only small parts of ourselves and abandon the other layers and the other parts of self as if they are non-existence. This is when we run into experiences where we are in unfulfilling careers, we are in relationships that are unfulfilling or where we still feel alone in a relationship. Because none of those things are fulfilling us in our whole, in our entirety. How could we expect that when we are not meeting it with our whole authentic self to begin with. How could we expect that externally, when we are not meeting those requirements ourselves, internally. Instead we are blocking it, perhaps suppressing it acting as our own ignorance.

Because we are only working and operating in one aspect or one layer of self while hiding our other layers, a relationship may not be as fulfilling because the other layers are tucked away to appease the status quo. Perhaps the relationship wasn’t always unfulfilling, it only started to feel unfulfilling because you have discovered yourself more deeply and uncovered more layers to yourself and may have started to openly accept these parts of self, where as your counterpart may have not. In turn, makes you wonder why the relationship is not as it once was, or why your career is not as fulfilling anymore. The new discovery on yourself, the new growth, and the new layers of yourself you are getting to know are now no longer working with what is current. What is transpiring in your current reality.

And in these pivotal moments, in these shifts we must choose the next path. To remain or to rebirth. To burn or to build. And in what ways to do so? How will that be expressed through the external?Many choices can be chosen. Let me explain. To choose to remain, by that I mean to remain pretending, to keep the status quo, to appease another, to people please your circumstances. To choose rebirth, by that I mean embrace the new, embrace the profound change you are discovering, regardless if external circumstances will rejoice in that. There is also another choice, to remain and to rebirth. By this I mean to choose to remain where you are and also transforming those remains. Meaning remaining within the career but bringing forth the change and the transformation somehow. Transformation can be seen as a promotion, a different position, or a different way of doing things. Similar to the relationship, remaining but choosing to work through it with your counterpart and embrace the changes and meeting each other where you are now, as long as the other party is willing and choosing to understand the change in you.

There isn’t necessarily a right or wrong choice, unless you are outright rejecting what your heart or your intuition is leading. It is only in the perceptions of it and how you choose to look at these choices. Because whether you make the wrong or right choice, there is always something to gain from it. Only you can understand and know the best path forward. You will know the proper choice, when that path is seen and opened up to you without forcefulness. Meaning that the proper path in choice will present itself clearly, but it is only your will that can choose to take up on it or reject it completely. How do we meet the path opened up before us? Love or fear. Openness or rigidity.

Sometimes the choices that we want to make, may not be the most feasible. And it will show us either of two things: there are still some kinks that needs to be worked through, or it is simply not possible to go through in this direction. In the relationship example, you want to choose to remain, but your counterpart is not understanding the change in you and may act dismissively and they are not on board because there is no longer that alignment present. Discernment is key in decision making. Sometimes all you need is more time and information for integration and other times there is no determining factor found to continue to move ahead, because what once was a bond no longer there. The path forward may be shown in other ways, perhaps in other choices you didn’t want to make in the first place. But you will know, what is right for you. Choose the change or reject it, the choice is ultimately yours. No matter how much you think you have no choice, there will always be a choice and the series of consequences following from that choice that you are willing to undergo. You must choose what is the worthy path.

The most important thing to remember is that the people who support you for you, will never fear the change in you, will allow you to go through that change and meet you on the other side of it. Although it may seem scary you will come out better for it. Because then you are operating in the most truest form of you, yet. Just for a moment, allow us to be real. The amount of people that will support you for you will become a small number than you hoped, but it’s a much better path ahead. A much more peaceful path, a much more grounded path forward, a much more aligned path, that is better fitting for you.

Look back to see how far you’ve come and continue to leap forward.

The Tower of Power

In the end, there is always a start to something new.

In times when things seem destructive, the life we once saw surrounding us is all crumbling down, and the ship we were once aboard heads toward wreckage. It is easy to be led toward a destructive mindset when all we can see is destruction ahead. Sometimes it feels like there were no signs to warn us of what’s to come. You had found your footing; you had found YOU, yourself again. Here comes a wave when your back is turned. Something unexpected, something you couldn’t predict this time around. Have you been the one who usually can predict these sorts of things? The tower of power is right in front of you, to be faced head-on. In this moment, you find yourself going back and forth with the waves of emotion. The emotions of panic and stress want to pull you in, but the calmness and peace in your heart and soul is calling you to feel, to embrace. Because deep down inside of you, you know that this destruction is good, this change is necessary. This ending is necessary. For you to evolve, to transform, to reassess what is needed in your next chapter, and determine where you are going from here on out.

In this moment, I choose something different. In this moment, I choose to act and think differently. To behave differently, and to take a different kind of action than I’m used to. In my mind at this time, I understand the change in me, the evolution of me. I choose to acknowledge within myself the necessity of this destruction in my outer world because I have changed. My internal processes have changed. That part of me is no longer. Therefore, this collapse is necessary. That part within me has died, and I have surrendered. This is a signal of my growth and how far I have come within days, months, and years of time. Acknowledging that what used to work for me before, no longer does. What used to light my fire before, no longer gives me warmth. What used to make me happy, now burdens me. What used to give me stability and security now brings instability, insecurity, and anxiety. What used to give me strength has forsaken me.

I have chosen the path of change. I have chosen continued growth. I have chosen to ascend. Instead of looking back and asking, “Why me? How come? Why now?” Instead of trying to fix and rebuild when the cracks have already been shown, instead of focusing my energy on rebuilding what is no longer working, what’s no longer stable ground, I choose to focus my energy on what’s new to come. I choose to use my energy to embrace what’s next and what I can create in the now. I choose to focus on the room and the space it has created to build something brand new. I envision what is next and what I want to see moving forward. Filling myself with excitement about the possibilities the empty spaces may hold and fill, instead of ruminating on the fear of what may never come to replace those empty spaces. No matter how scary the unknown may seem, instead of choosing to shut down and close off my energy. I choose to expand into the horizon and open up to the doors that are opening for me. The path I cannot see just yet with the naked eye, but I can feel. I choose to embrace all the possibilities that may come, no matter how out of this world they may be and no matter how impossible they may seem.

In this moment, I have learned to make the choice to lean into the unknown. And this unknown is a scary thing. Hold on tight and I will see you on the other side of greatness. Do not fear you won’t be saved because, in truth, you were already saved. The tower of power has now released you from what binds you. Remove and release the energy that no longer serves you to free yourself once more. The taste of newfound freedom is now yours for the taking. The tower of power is newfound victory, newfound glory. Embrace the newness awaiting to come.

Welcome to your transformation.