maximavega – MAXIMA VEGA

The Defense Without the Drain

The push-pull of living in a world where everyone’s at war within themselves

When everyone you meet out in this world, state of madness is like a ticking time bomb. Too much needed to be dealt with on the inside. Too much on the inside have yet to be touched. So they hold their breath and not make a sound and they bleed. They bleed everywhere and on everyone because they cannot face themselves. It’s too hard for them. Too hard to face dead on. Mission impossible. Mission incomplete. Abort the fucking mission now.

Their heart is bleeding all the time. In turn, they act erratically, they act impulsively. They can’t stop the bleeding so they look for someone to bleed upon. And if that someone can’t stop the bleeding, if that someone won’t coddle them, they look and search elsewhere to another madness. Continuing down the same maze, yet still lost. Still lost in what they couldn’t find, because they don’t even know what to look for or what they’re searching for.

Lost and confused because the journey inward has yet to be taken. The journey inward is too long of a journey. Deflect, dismiss, denounce it. No need to look there. So now I show up in the world like a ticking time bomb because I refuse. Refuse to look deeper, refuse to challenge the status quo appearing into my reality. So I take it out, take it out on others. Bestow my pain upon another, like a TV projection screen. Projected upon another that seems more believable, because then people would be convinced that you are not miserable as the way you feel.

God forbid someone actually sees what’s really going on. God forbid that someone can see into me as such. Darvo! Deny, Attack, Reverse the victim and offender so I can keep my fake facade believable. So that I may save myself even if I betray another. Even if that cost me the pain of another. A suitable sacrifice hmmm. Is it victory or is it cowardice disguised and cloaked as victory?

If any victory. A victory short-lived. A short smirk, a short smile and hooray, and yet slowly back into the gut wrenching feeling of misery. An image of victory while you constantly stack the burdens of guilt, of shame to carry along with you. That’s heavy. That’s deep. That’s a load to carry. That’s a cut that burns. But it doesn’t burn away the pain. Only for a moment, but the moment never lasts that long. So you search for another moment.

Is that how you rationalize your power? Are you really the defendant or is it I? To parade power as if power equates to loud and obnoxious. Go ahead. Tell the lie. Lie to yourself. Be the disservice to yourself. You’re hurting no one else, but yourself.

To defend the wrongfully accused without the drain. One must live and embody their truth. You cannot sit here and lie to yourself. You cannot be confused, torn, and double minded. A person lying to themselves is a person no good for no one. Because when the epicenter of the situation of the concern was built on a lie, then everything else attached is also a lie by default.

Long behold the farce. We found it. When we recognize the farce in the complexity we can identify the energy drain. When we find and spot the lie, that is when we find the cause of destruction, the drain so to speak. Alongside that, we can find everything and anything that is attached to that kind of destruction.

That’s also interchangeably to the point of defense. When we pinpoint this spot, this epicenter. Then can we choose to detangle ourselves from the situation. That’s when we find the way out. The way out to peace in one piece. Let them believe the power was in their hands.

When truly the power was always in yours. You just took the time to unravel yourselves quietly or perhaps swiftly. Calling back all the remnants of you that has been stolen. Everything will disintegrate without the core energy presence, you.

No longer feeding into the energy, into the lie, into the chaos that doesn’t have an outlet, therefore creating destruction in all its path. Only to stumble upon your true path.

These are the thieves living among us. And there is no honor amongst thieves. Leave the thieves where they may.

That is defense without the drain attached.

The Layers of You

Full Moon & Mercury Retrograde Edition: Peeling Back The Layers & Looking Back to Leap Forward

The human race is a complex and a mutlifaceted form of energy, of matter. There are many parts that makes us the same as the person next to us, but there are also many parts that makes us different, makes us unique, makes us an individual. But why is there an underlying obsession of needing others to be so similar and familiar to us, in order for us to feel like we belong, to feel accepted, to feel comfortable. That obsession and that push to make people be more like us. That need to be more agreeable. That need and that desire to feel comfortable will turn to be your own mental prison that is formed within your mind and within your physical realm. Because you will constantly chase the thing, the person, the environment that makes you feel comfortable. Keep in mind, comfort is not a bad thing, it is only something that works against us when we are seeking comfort, to avoid the problems of self and taking that initiative to face what’s really beneath the surface. And this in turn will keep yourself feeling small, when we don’t have that outlet or that room to expand, to explore, to grow. We create our own suffering. And suffering of any form is the beginning of any dis-ease. The prolonging of dis-ease will lead to external manifestations that may take in many forms.

And when we peel back the layers, the layers of you. There is more beneath the surface. There is more beyond what we are seeing. So why the need to categorize the few things that we see that makes up a person? Why can’t these few things just be those things and just exist, why shall we make up the story for a person, concluding on things we know nothing about. There is only a small percentage of the brain that the human race use on a daily basis. And the rest of it, our brains fill in the blanks with junk information. That is the part where we, as humans fall short. The need to understand what we don’t understand. We overlook so much because either our brains don’t have the capacity or us humans are short on time. Doing what we do best, rushing the process. So the brain does its thing, sometimes without our knowledge and our conscious effort until we really sit with ourselves and take the time for self-reflection.

Many of us go through life and experience life without revealing all of our layers, all of our parts that makes us who we are. Some may share these layers of themselves to one, some to a few, and some to no one their entire existence. Then there are the rare that can show all parts when necessary. There is no wrong or right way to live your life, it is all just choice and all valid choices base upon one’s preference. No way of life should form judgements. But that is a bad habit of us humans, to form judgements without proper inquiry.

So before we make a judgement call to say someone or something is good or bad, evil or righteous is not as plain or simple as that may seem. We may say those things or refer people, places, or things in such terms because again our brain is trying to compress and compact information as much as we can, to get the important information across. From my understanding, people are not inherently born good or bad, righteous or evil. We all were once pure of form, pure in energy when we were born. It is of the the choices we make becomes of us. So if we are not proud of our choices and the choices we make, and if we cannot overcome our challenges and/or consequences, this may lead for one to feel they are a bad person, and in turn become a bad person because their belief deemed themselves unworthy of being good because they’ve made bad judgements and poor decisions that they have yet to rectify within themselves. So they carry it with them, in turn may use it as a weapon against another.

When we forget about good versus evil and we peel back the layers, what we will find in its core, is our operating system. What is running the show to cause such behaviors or actions? We will find, it is either that we are operating in a place of love or we are operating in a place of fear. Once we define that, it will be shown how this mode of operating is expressed through our layers and through our layers of self. That is in turn outwardly expressed through our behaviors, actions, and choices. Think of a toddler going through a temper tantrum and throwing things in the room. That toddler is operating in fear, expressing their emotions out of fear, because they feel that their sense of security and safety is jeopardize for not getting their needs met or they feel that they are not being heard.

The general world operate mostly on the surface layer of self and may feel comfortable showing the first few layers of themselves that they feel would be socially acceptable. So us humans will continue to only show and operate in certain layers of self that we deem as acceptable to the general world and the general public. So what is the issue in operating in the world this way, if any?

When we only show up and operate in only small parts of ourselves and abandon the other layers and the other parts of self as if they are non-existence. This is when we run into experiences where we are in unfulfilling careers, we are in relationships that are unfulfilling or where we still feel alone in a relationship. Because none of those things are fulfilling us in our whole, in our entirety. How could we expect that when we are not meeting it with our whole authentic self to begin with. How could we expect that externally, when we are not meeting those requirements ourselves, internally. Instead we are blocking it, perhaps suppressing it acting as our own ignorance.

Because we are only working and operating in one aspect or one layer of self while hiding our other layers, a relationship may not be as fulfilling because the other layers are tucked away to appease the status quo. Perhaps the relationship wasn’t always unfulfilling, it only started to feel unfulfilling because you have discovered yourself more deeply and uncovered more layers to yourself and may have started to openly accept these parts of self, where as your counterpart may have not. In turn, makes you wonder why the relationship is not as it once was, or why your career is not as fulfilling anymore. The new discovery on yourself, the new growth, and the new layers of yourself you are getting to know are now no longer working with what is current. What is transpiring in your current reality.

And in these pivotal moments, in these shifts we must choose the next path. To remain or to rebirth. To burn or to build. And in what ways to do so? How will that be expressed through the external?Many choices can be chosen. Let me explain. To choose to remain, by that I mean to remain pretending, to keep the status quo, to appease another, to people please your circumstances. To choose rebirth, by that I mean embrace the new, embrace the profound change you are discovering, regardless if external circumstances will rejoice in that. There is also another choice, to remain and to rebirth. By this I mean to choose to remain where you are and also transforming those remains. Meaning remaining within the career but bringing forth the change and the transformation somehow. Transformation can be seen as a promotion, a different position, or a different way of doing things. Similar to the relationship, remaining but choosing to work through it with your counterpart and embrace the changes and meeting each other where you are now, as long as the other party is willing and choosing to understand the change in you.

There isn’t necessarily a right or wrong choice, unless you are outright rejecting what your heart or your intuition is leading. It is only in the perceptions of it and how you choose to look at these choices. Because whether you make the wrong or right choice, there is always something to gain from it. Only you can understand and know the best path forward. You will know the proper choice, when that path is seen and opened up to you without forcefulness. Meaning that the proper path in choice will present itself clearly, but it is only your will that can choose to take up on it or reject it completely. How do we meet the path opened up before us? Love or fear. Openness or rigidity.

Sometimes the choices that we want to make, may not be the most feasible. And it will show us either of two things: there are still some kinks that needs to be worked through, or it is simply not possible to go through in this direction. In the relationship example, you want to choose to remain, but your counterpart is not understanding the change in you and may act dismissively and they are not on board because there is no longer that alignment present. Discernment is key in decision making. Sometimes all you need is more time and information for integration and other times there is no determining factor found to continue to move ahead, because what once was a bond no longer there. The path forward may be shown in other ways, perhaps in other choices you didn’t want to make in the first place. But you will know, what is right for you. Choose the change or reject it, the choice is ultimately yours. No matter how much you think you have no choice, there will always be a choice and the series of consequences following from that choice that you are willing to undergo. You must choose what is the worthy path.

The most important thing to remember is that the people who support you for you, will never fear the change in you, will allow you to go through that change and meet you on the other side of it. Although it may seem scary you will come out better for it. Because then you are operating in the most truest form of you, yet. Just for a moment, allow us to be real. The amount of people that will support you for you will become a small number than you hoped, but it’s a much better path ahead. A much more peaceful path, a much more grounded path forward, a much more aligned path, that is better fitting for you.

Look back to see how far you’ve come and continue to leap forward.

The Tower of Power

In the end, there is always a start to something new.

In times when things seem destructive, the life we once saw surrounding us is all crumbling down, and the ship we were once aboard heads toward wreckage. It is easy to be led toward a destructive mindset when all we can see is destruction ahead. Sometimes it feels like there were no signs to warn us of what’s to come. You had found your footing; you had found YOU, yourself again. Here comes a wave when your back is turned. Something unexpected, something you couldn’t predict this time around. Have you been the one who usually can predict these sorts of things? The tower of power is right in front of you, to be faced head-on. In this moment, you find yourself going back and forth with the waves of emotion. The emotions of panic and stress want to pull you in, but the calmness and peace in your heart and soul is calling you to feel, to embrace. Because deep down inside of you, you know that this destruction is good, this change is necessary. This ending is necessary. For you to evolve, to transform, to reassess what is needed in your next chapter, and determine where you are going from here on out.

In this moment, I choose something different. In this moment, I choose to act and think differently. To behave differently, and to take a different kind of action than I’m used to. In my mind at this time, I understand the change in me, the evolution of me. I choose to acknowledge within myself the necessity of this destruction in my outer world because I have changed. My internal processes have changed. That part of me is no longer. Therefore, this collapse is necessary. That part within me has died, and I have surrendered. This is a signal of my growth and how far I have come within days, months, and years of time. Acknowledging that what used to work for me before, no longer does. What used to light my fire before, no longer gives me warmth. What used to make me happy, now burdens me. What used to give me stability and security now brings instability, insecurity, and anxiety. What used to give me strength has forsaken me.

I have chosen the path of change. I have chosen continued growth. I have chosen to ascend. Instead of looking back and asking, “Why me? How come? Why now?” Instead of trying to fix and rebuild when the cracks have already been shown, instead of focusing my energy on rebuilding what is no longer working, what’s no longer stable ground, I choose to focus my energy on what’s new to come. I choose to use my energy to embrace what’s next and what I can create in the now. I choose to focus on the room and the space it has created to build something brand new. I envision what is next and what I want to see moving forward. Filling myself with excitement about the possibilities the empty spaces may hold and fill, instead of ruminating on the fear of what may never come to replace those empty spaces. No matter how scary the unknown may seem, instead of choosing to shut down and close off my energy. I choose to expand into the horizon and open up to the doors that are opening for me. The path I cannot see just yet with the naked eye, but I can feel. I choose to embrace all the possibilities that may come, no matter how out of this world they may be and no matter how impossible they may seem.

In this moment, I have learned to make the choice to lean into the unknown. And this unknown is a scary thing. Hold on tight and I will see you on the other side of greatness. Do not fear you won’t be saved because, in truth, you were already saved. The tower of power has now released you from what binds you. Remove and release the energy that no longer serves you to free yourself once more. The taste of newfound freedom is now yours for the taking. The tower of power is newfound victory, newfound glory. Embrace the newness awaiting to come.

Welcome to your transformation.

Divine Feminine Force: Forces at Play

Mars & Venus Conjunction: Can The Modern Society Accept a Powerful Woman?

When most people see a powerful woman, they often claim she is their ideal mate, what they want, and what they’re looking for—until they face her presence and are confronted by her existence. Are they willing to stand beside her? Is it truly what they want, or is it purely a fantasy and not reality? What does it really mean to be a powerful woman in this day and age? That question can have different answers for each individual, depending on their conceptions of what power really is.

The general population would say it’s the most ideal time to be a woman because of the freedom we have compared to the past. Is it really the most ideal time? Or are we still facing the same struggles from the past, hidden underneath it all? Or are we now experiencing newfound struggles from a modern society? Perhaps it’s a bit of both. Did we shoot ourselves in the foot, both men and women, when we strived and commanded for change? Are we now blurring the lines of the value behind being a woman or a man? Are we living in a mirage of illusions because we don’t fully understand ourselves? Are we stuck in a perpetual pattern of thinking that what we see and are told is right?

In a world where social media and entertainment are our focal points, is what we see what we get? Is what we are seeing true to its core? Do we perceive power as being affluent and well-liked? Does a powerful woman only exist in the fantasy of her beauty? Does anything else matter beneath the surface? Are we in a state of a constant force to only see the outer beauty versus the inner beauty? Perhaps the constant scrolling has rewired us to operate with short attention spans, preventing us from looking deeper beyond the surface because of the perceived opulence of choices in front of us. Or does society claim to be advocates of equal power for men and women as long as they don’t exceed and take up too much space in our world? If a woman is found to be stronger than most of her male counterparts, is she meant to be condemned for it? If a woman has a broader and more intelligent mind than her male counterpart, will she still be overlooked for someone who appears to be smarter or fits the part? Are we as women tired of the modern world? Are we done with the push and pull on our energy?

Are powerful women only to be admired from afar because they’re in a league of their own? With social media on the rise, it seems a powerful woman is perceived as one who has it all, the looks that the world admires, and the ability to provide for herself, financially and emotionally. She doesn’t need a man to provide her needs and happiness. But is that true? Or are onlookers creating that truth for themselves to hide something deeper? A powerful woman seems to need nothing outside of herself. She may not need a man, but she may desire one, that is the key difference. This statement may be true to an extent. But as human beings, we all need love to truly live a fulfilled life—someone to rely on for support, whatever kind of support that is from time to time. It may not be needed, but it is necessary to have human connection. After all, we are social creatures who crave to be loved and share love with one another. Love is the core aspect of living a fulfilling life and existence. But love is not merely confined to romance. Love is about connecting, forming bonds, thriving, and ascending higher from those connections.

It’s time to look outside the box and see things from a different perspective, without judgment and perceived truths that may not be true at all. We all have our unique journeys, and perhaps a powerful woman was not necessarily born that way but made that way—perhaps not by her own choice but because she felt it was her only way out for a better life in today’s society. Perhaps she never had the support to begin with but still grew to become the powerful woman she is today. So she learned to operate without such support. Women are constantly judged and ridiculed for either being too dependent on a man or too independent on themselves. So what is the verdict? Having a husband doesn’t mean a lack of autonomy, and being an independent woman doesn’t mean you won’t get a husband. This push and pull needs to end; it’s quite unimpressive for any individual striving to live a life of their own making, away from judgments. Where is the accountability for the other side? It’s as if women in the world can never win without some outsider commenting on their success. If a powerful woman becomes self-made, we get judged and perceive that she had it easy or had help. The only way for any outsider to know the truth is if they were God themselves or if they really took the time to understand a powerful woman. But from what I see, too many cower in the presence of a powerful woman due to insecurities and ego. So outsiders tend to project what they deem to be the truth because they would rather not look at themselves and be truthful about their perceived shortcomings or fears.

There are many positives and still struggles to being a woman in today’s age. I sense and believe women are still battling the same issues we faced in the past. Perhaps not as extreme, but the presence is still alive and well, lurking beneath the surface, used against us when necessary. It seems like society always wants to give us the short end of the stick, as if we need to choose between securing a traditional family setup and a successful independent career. We cannot dream of having both. I write this from my own experiences and observations of society as a whole. I write this because I am here to change the story we tell ourselves. If this is not what we say to ourselves, our society and the people around us keep enforcing these beliefs and thought patterns that we powerful women simply do not agree with. The world is our oyster, and I believe we can have it all as long as we are willing to put forth the effort needed. With the right support, this journey would be much easier for us to flourish and live abundantly and courageously. The end goal is to be our most authentic selves, and if that means being a powerful woman in the world, then so be it.

So back to the first question: can modern society accept a powerful woman? I would say yes and no. I believe we are on the path to being able to accept a powerful woman as who she is in her most authentic form. Yes, because more and more people are opening up their minds, moving away from traditions that are no longer serving an evolving world. No, because with change there will always be pushback. There will always be stubbornness from those stuck in their ways and closed-mindedness. There are those who hold on for dear life when change is inevitable and the only way forward. Sometimes the path of change is the only open path to go down, yet people still grasp onto old ideologies due to ego or perceived loss. Change can sometimes alter things for themselves, so some would much rather stay in their current positions to reap the benefits of such ideologies.

The takeaway from this is not a feminist point of view; I do not resonate with such terms and ideas. I speak of truth, honest experiences, and what I have learned from my journey thus far. Steer away from closed-minded thinking and fitting things into tight spaces. Ascend from thinking and perceiving that achieving success is only a masculine trait or energy. See beyond the old beliefs and transcend to real truth and wholeness. If we want to dive into the energy roles, you could argue that masculine energy is one of action, while feminine energy is one of creation—creating out of nothingness. Therefore, to achieve success, both energies are needed: the energy of creation and the action behind what is being created. The real understanding lies in the power of unity and the synergy behind all things. That is what the Divine Feminine Force is about. A powerful woman operates from an awakened state of her nature as a woman, as a feminine figure. She breaks away from what seems to cage in and restrict her feminine energy, allowing for greater expansion, expression, and creation in this world. This goes far beyond the coined term “feminist,” which today is often rooted in the energy of division, with a dynamic of me versus you when the conversation should lead with the dynamic of me and you, us, and how we move forward from that starting point.

11:11 Energetic Portal

The Journey of Creating Alignment

As many people are now aware of the power of numbers and its numeric code. The power of energy itself and the significance and power within the frequency of 11:11. There is no right or wrong way to decipher what 11:11 means to you. It is up to your discernment to define what the message is saying to you. That meaning can change depending on where you are in your journey. But ultimately, I find the meaning to hold the energy of alignment. The 11:11 energy is the equal and opposite reflection of one another, symbolic of a mirroring effect of the energy. Alignment is the general energetic container that holds the power of 11:11. And the energy of alignment can coincide with many things, many situations, many attributes to one’s life. The key to reaching true alignment is to ask the write questions to self.

What does Alignment mean to me?

How does Alignment feel to me?

What is going on around me when I feel aligned?

What is going on inside me when I feel aligned?

How does that word alignment sit with me? How does that word trigger me?

How can alignment better shape my future from where I am in this present moment?

When was a time when I felt truly aligned?

While you cultivate and nurture the relationship you have with oneself, these are some of the questions you may ask yourself when understanding where you are at this moment and understanding where you are headed. What is the vision for oneself?

The meaning of alignment is when multiple parts of a whole is working properly and at peace and harmony with one another with the ability to move energy forward easily. But you decide and discern what or which whole you are perceiving and which parts you are integrating to create a harmonious environment with oneself in order for it to reflect it back to you in your external world.

For instance, if you are looking upon your self as the whole and your well being, what are the equal parts to creating that whole? Is it your mind, your body, and your spirit that creates the whole? If so how can you integrate those parts to better work with you to achieve what you’re setting out in this world. If not how can you shift the energy within the mind, within the body, within the spirit of oneself to create that alignment, that harmonizing factor so you can better take on the world in front of you?

If you find yourself not in alignment to your most desired path, how can you create a clearer path, a clearer direction? How can you achieve your alignment with one self? Is it by creating self-love after neglecting your body’s need for rest and rejuvenation? Is it by tapping into lighter energies by going out and seeing what this vast world has to offer after imposing so many burdens upon your self and your life? Is it by retreating into your own space, your own energy to get back in touch with your calling after being around too much other influences?

The key to finding your alignment, finding your answers has always been you and it will always be you. Sure and yes, people, places, and things can bring upon messages from the higher realms perceived as mere coincidences, but it is YOU that declares that was a sign, it is YOU that forms a meaning with the information given. You are deciding that message was meant for me to hear, for me to see. So it is you reflecting back to you, calling you for your own alignment.

The final question to ask oneself, are you ready to begin the journey for greater alignment?

With grand love and grand light

Maxima Vega