Tag: transforming

The Tower of Power

In the end, there is always a start to something new.

In times when things seem destructive, the life we once saw surrounding us is all crumbling down, and the ship we were once aboard heads toward wreckage. It is easy to be led toward a destructive mindset when all we can see is destruction ahead. Sometimes it feels like there were no signs to warn us of what’s to come. You had found your footing; you had found YOU, yourself again. Here comes a wave when your back is turned. Something unexpected, something you couldn’t predict this time around. Have you been the one who usually can predict these sorts of things? The tower of power is right in front of you, to be faced head-on. In this moment, you find yourself going back and forth with the waves of emotion. The emotions of panic and stress want to pull you in, but the calmness and peace in your heart and soul is calling you to feel, to embrace. Because deep down inside of you, you know that this destruction is good, this change is necessary. This ending is necessary. For you to evolve, to transform, to reassess what is needed in your next chapter, and determine where you are going from here on out.

In this moment, I choose something different. In this moment, I choose to act and think differently. To behave differently, and to take a different kind of action than I’m used to. In my mind at this time, I understand the change in me, the evolution of me. I choose to acknowledge within myself the necessity of this destruction in my outer world because I have changed. My internal processes have changed. That part of me is no longer. Therefore, this collapse is necessary. That part within me has died, and I have surrendered. This is a signal of my growth and how far I have come within days, months, and years of time. Acknowledging that what used to work for me before, no longer does. What used to light my fire before, no longer gives me warmth. What used to make me happy, now burdens me. What used to give me stability and security now brings instability, insecurity, and anxiety. What used to give me strength has forsaken me.

I have chosen the path of change. I have chosen continued growth. I have chosen to ascend. Instead of looking back and asking, “Why me? How come? Why now?” Instead of trying to fix and rebuild when the cracks have already been shown, instead of focusing my energy on rebuilding what is no longer working, what’s no longer stable ground, I choose to focus my energy on what’s new to come. I choose to use my energy to embrace what’s next and what I can create in the now. I choose to focus on the room and the space it has created to build something brand new. I envision what is next and what I want to see moving forward. Filling myself with excitement about the possibilities the empty spaces may hold and fill, instead of ruminating on the fear of what may never come to replace those empty spaces. No matter how scary the unknown may seem, instead of choosing to shut down and close off my energy. I choose to expand into the horizon and open up to the doors that are opening for me. The path I cannot see just yet with the naked eye, but I can feel. I choose to embrace all the possibilities that may come, no matter how out of this world they may be and no matter how impossible they may seem.

In this moment, I have learned to make the choice to lean into the unknown. And this unknown is a scary thing. Hold on tight and I will see you on the other side of greatness. Do not fear you won’t be saved because, in truth, you were already saved. The tower of power has now released you from what binds you. Remove and release the energy that no longer serves you to free yourself once more. The taste of newfound freedom is now yours for the taking. The tower of power is newfound victory, newfound glory. Embrace the newness awaiting to come.

Welcome to your transformation.

Transmuting the Loss into the Lesson

Alchemizing the pain into your own power

Shattering endings, big losses, betrayals, heartbreaks, and grief—to name a few. Awakenings have many names. In our lives, we get to pick and choose what we name them, what we call them, and how we move forward after that perceived end. This isn’t my first rodeo, and most likely not yours either if you’re reading this. Yet here we still are, existing. If you have ever truly lived, you’ll understand what I speak of. Sometimes the pain doesn’t come merely from one incident; often, it comes from how frequently such incidents occur, or how many times we have experienced them. Sometimes the loss hurts much more because it seems to happen back to back, and we’re just looking for a moment to recollect ourselves, a peaceful space to lick our wounds without having to watch our backs one last time. We search for solace, a safe haven where we can heal and ponder what is next for us, and how we want to experience our lives moving forward.

So, how do we heal after loss, betrayal, or heartbreak? One thing you must know: we don’t really heal in the arms of another, by avoiding it, through distraction, by pretending it does not exist, or by putting something else in front of our views. That distraction will be the farthest thing from healing. It can come in many forms: another person, substances, overworking, partying, gambling, gaming, sex, and drugs, to name a few. These same distractions will pull you farther and farther from yourself, from your spirit, from God himself, until one day you look in the mirror and can’t even see yourself in the reflection. In our society today, that is how most people cope with their struggles and losses, and this has become our continued blueprint from what we have seen modeled for us. It was never embedded in us to learn how to deal with our emotions within our human experience as spiritual beings first and foremost. I know it’s hard to believe that most people still operate with the belief that “showing emotions is weak.” This is such outdated thinking that we must stray away from. Emotions are a part of the human experience, and it’s no secret we all have them, whether we show them or not. If we as humans continue to reject that part of ourselves, we are completely rejecting ourselves as human beings, rejecting our own human experience, and rejecting our own healing. In order for the soul to evolve, we must accept everything fully; otherwise, we shortchange ourselves, and we are more likely to continue living through the same experiences time after time without learning from them. When these emotions come to the surface, it’s a call to heal. Ignoring the storm within us only makes it grow stronger.

There isn’t a due date on healing; it’s an ongoing process. It takes time. When you’re stranded and lost at sea in the eye of the storm, you can’t control or determine when the storm will be over. You wait it out. Sometimes, in the eye of the storm, our only choice is to allow the storm to devour us whole. You push through it. You do what you can with what you have to survive the storm, with the hope that you’ll see the sun rise again, and trust that it will. It just takes time. Mute the voices that tell you, “you should be over this by now.” That is not true, because this was your experience, and this is your time to heal. Nobody can tell you when you should be ready; nobody should tell you otherwise, simply because they weren’t you in that experience. Forget about how much time it’s taking; you’re still on track. Believe that. Perhaps you just chose the deeper path, the path less traveled. You decided to dive deeper within yourself to ensure you fully understand yourself in this process, not necessarily what happened to you, but who you were when it happened, who you are now, and who you want to be moving forward.

Once you’ve reached this point, you’ll see how this loss aided you in becoming more clearly yourself. The only way to get to this point in the journey is by going through it. Be upset, be angry, be sad, be mad, cry it out. You’ll have good days and bad days. It’s all part of the process, and all parts are necessary in the grand scheme of things. You’ll feel a war raging inside of you at times. You’ll feel the need to cry in the most inconvenient places. Excuse yourself for a moment and let it out. When you don’t allow yourself to feel, you hinder and suppress the emotions, and they may not resurface until later. If they resurface later rather than sooner, it may become difficult to understand where the emotion is coming from. So when you have the chance to feel it, allow yourself to feel it. After you feel it, the storm will carry you back to the shore—trust. If you haven’t yet allowed yourself to go through it, it will be very hard for you to find the silver lining, the meaning, the lesson in all of this.

How will you know when you have yet to find the lesson in the loss? Your mind will continue to loop with thoughts of “why?” Your mind will keep you bound to a victim mentality. And when I say this, trust me, you being the victim in the situation can be 100% valid and accurate. But staying as a victim will not aid the process of transmuting and ascending from your loss. If you were truly the victim of your persecutor, then the victim mindset should only be a phase within the healing process. That phase may last a long time, and sometimes it will be easier to let go. Being a victim gives your personal power away and makes you feel helpless. Being the victor helps you regain your personal power, and to regain your personal power is to realize the lesson from this loss. Sometimes the lesson comes with an epiphany, a learning you find about such losses. Sometimes it’s a learning about oneself and our behaviors and patterns. Other times it’s just in the form of a feeling. Because sometimes, after all is said and done, you just feel lighter, freer, brighter, more yourself in the end. It’s all different for everyone. All paths are valid and righteous.

Success is found in the lesson, and we get to use that and keep it with us moving forward. It’s up to you what you do with your newfound knowledge about yourself, about people, and about life. Move forward with gratitude, knowing God never abandoned you in this process, but guided you through with the promise of new life.